Update on #9....
Remember #9? Come on, you were paying attention right? Didn't I mention that there would be a quiz afterwards? lol Anyway, #9 and I had a date a week or so ago... During the next few days, he was laying it on pretty thick... and I was starting to rethink going out with him again. To his credit, he has layed low the last few days... Well, since Friday. Since then I have received minimal e-mails and no phone calls. I guess I was sending off that 'you are freaking me out' vibe and his receptors were up and running. So, he sends me the 'hey, how was your weekend' email yesterday rather than Monday. Then today...
"Hi beautiful... How, is Friday looking?
#9"
So, I am starting to think I may give him another shot and see how things go. The guy has balls, that's for sure... saying things like 'hey beautiful' can back fire... Plus, I received an email from cnfg which was rather enlightening. I won't copy/paste the entire thing, but just some high lights...
"Hope you don't mind, but I can't get blogger to post my comment regarding #9's enthusiam/desperation. As I recall, he was a bit older and didn't have the most attractive picture, right? I was looking around to see how things went on Tuesday, but apparently he thinks they've gone really well. What do you think? Better looking in person? Funny enough to make up for the age difference?
The guys I worked with often told me that the reason I didn't have a boyfriend was because I didn't want one, and once I decided I wanted one, it would happen. So I started online dating because you know how easy it is to get out and about as a single mom. Blah, blah, lot of duds, blah, blah, still hopeful but couldn't be too careful... blah, blah, what is with all these dorks and losers?!? What, do I have a neon sign on my head??
So when M dropped me an e-mail (which I'd share but it's on my desktop at home in Hawaii), I giggled a lot but didn't really take him seriously. He came on really strong, and if you sift through some of my mid-December entries, you'll see I was seriously wondering if he was a psycho loser or something. He was divorced, hadn't been in a relationship for two years, etc., and people told me to be careful about being the rebound. He told me right off the bat what he liked about me, how much he liked me, that he understood being a mom was demanding on my time but he'd really enjoy what time I could make for him, etc. He called just because and sent e-cards to thank me for dates. He said he loved me after only a couple of weeks and said he told his dad he found the love of his life, the day after our first date.
At first I thought perhaps there was something wrong with him or that he was focusing on me just because I was there... and maybe it's too early to tell since we've only known each other 3 months...
But here's what I've learned. Game playing sucks. I've always said so, and wished guys would just say what was on their minds instead of playing stupid mind games like waiting to call. Looking at pictures of younger M, I have no doubts that he was a serious player and a real jerk. OMG, you should see the attitude in some of those pictures! Now finally, I've got a guy who isn't into games, knows what he wants, and goes for it... and in this case, it was me. It's kind of cool, actually. When I look at him like he's full of crap, he'll look me straight in the eye and say something to remind me that he's learned his lessons about not appreciating when he's got something good.
After years of dating emotionally repressed jerks and overgrown teenagers, here I was feeling uncomfortable being treated just the way I always wished I'd been treated. Doh!
Soooooooo... rather than making yourself unavailable, assuming you're interested, talk when you have time and cut it short when you don't. Same goes for dates. If he's coming on too strong, just tell him what your concerns are. :) I know you have no problems telling people exactly what's on your mind! ;) His response will help you figure out whether or not he's a game player or just a straight up interested guy."
Ok, I lied. I copied the entire email. I couldn't junk any of it!! (THANK YOU CNFG, BTW!) Anyway, the point I am getting to (slowly, I know), is that I really thought the guy was worthy of more than one date after the first one. However, honestly, I didn't know if I was attracted to him yet and I still don't. Then when he started coming on too strongly, I was considering junking him... But seeing as he has recently changed his demeanor somewhat, I think I am going to give him another shot.
Told you guys that you'd be the first to know, I haven't written him back yet :P
~Kate
"Hi beautiful... How, is Friday looking?
#9"
So, I am starting to think I may give him another shot and see how things go. The guy has balls, that's for sure... saying things like 'hey beautiful' can back fire... Plus, I received an email from cnfg which was rather enlightening. I won't copy/paste the entire thing, but just some high lights...
"Hope you don't mind, but I can't get blogger to post my comment regarding #9's enthusiam/desperation. As I recall, he was a bit older and didn't have the most attractive picture, right? I was looking around to see how things went on Tuesday, but apparently he thinks they've gone really well. What do you think? Better looking in person? Funny enough to make up for the age difference?
The guys I worked with often told me that the reason I didn't have a boyfriend was because I didn't want one, and once I decided I wanted one, it would happen. So I started online dating because you know how easy it is to get out and about as a single mom. Blah, blah, lot of duds, blah, blah, still hopeful but couldn't be too careful... blah, blah, what is with all these dorks and losers?!? What, do I have a neon sign on my head??
So when M dropped me an e-mail (which I'd share but it's on my desktop at home in Hawaii), I giggled a lot but didn't really take him seriously. He came on really strong, and if you sift through some of my mid-December entries, you'll see I was seriously wondering if he was a psycho loser or something. He was divorced, hadn't been in a relationship for two years, etc., and people told me to be careful about being the rebound. He told me right off the bat what he liked about me, how much he liked me, that he understood being a mom was demanding on my time but he'd really enjoy what time I could make for him, etc. He called just because and sent e-cards to thank me for dates. He said he loved me after only a couple of weeks and said he told his dad he found the love of his life, the day after our first date.
At first I thought perhaps there was something wrong with him or that he was focusing on me just because I was there... and maybe it's too early to tell since we've only known each other 3 months...
But here's what I've learned. Game playing sucks. I've always said so, and wished guys would just say what was on their minds instead of playing stupid mind games like waiting to call. Looking at pictures of younger M, I have no doubts that he was a serious player and a real jerk. OMG, you should see the attitude in some of those pictures! Now finally, I've got a guy who isn't into games, knows what he wants, and goes for it... and in this case, it was me. It's kind of cool, actually. When I look at him like he's full of crap, he'll look me straight in the eye and say something to remind me that he's learned his lessons about not appreciating when he's got something good.
After years of dating emotionally repressed jerks and overgrown teenagers, here I was feeling uncomfortable being treated just the way I always wished I'd been treated. Doh!
Soooooooo... rather than making yourself unavailable, assuming you're interested, talk when you have time and cut it short when you don't. Same goes for dates. If he's coming on too strong, just tell him what your concerns are. :) I know you have no problems telling people exactly what's on your mind! ;) His response will help you figure out whether or not he's a game player or just a straight up interested guy."
Ok, I lied. I copied the entire email. I couldn't junk any of it!! (THANK YOU CNFG, BTW!) Anyway, the point I am getting to (slowly, I know), is that I really thought the guy was worthy of more than one date after the first one. However, honestly, I didn't know if I was attracted to him yet and I still don't. Then when he started coming on too strongly, I was considering junking him... But seeing as he has recently changed his demeanor somewhat, I think I am going to give him another shot.
Told you guys that you'd be the first to know, I haven't written him back yet :P
~Kate
posted by katehopeeden @ 8:20 AM
1 Comments:
At 8:41 AM,
Woman atop her Soapbox said…
I told you older guys were better. They know the score. And he is cute because I've seen his picture! Give him a chance. Sounds like he knows when he's pushed too fast and too far.
~The Girl
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