My 'Man List'...

A question posed on my Dating As a Single Parent Board... Every once in awhile, we all list what we have to have in a relationship. Then go back and compare it to the previous answers. I also had a conversation with my friend in England about this yesterday. He was being sweet to me and asking how in the world someone as great as yours truly could still be single... When I told him that this was a matter of meshing and my being picky, he asked what I wanted in a partner. Now my brain wheels are a-spinnin'....

What must you have in a spouse? (No compromises. All of these must be met.)
-He has to has to has to be employed. I support three children and a sister already, I will not take on another person. Financial stability is very important to me.
-He has to like kids. I have three and they are far more important to me than anything else.
-Maturity. He has to be past his getting shitfaced every weekend phase. I won't even consider a guy who says that 'partying' is one of his hobbies.
-Intelligent. I am not saying the guy has to be Einstein, I need a guy with brains.
-I need good conversation in a relationship. He doesn't have to like/agree with everything, but has to be interested in talking to me. I like to debate things and discuss them, I need that in a partner.
-Honesty.
-Tolerant. I am sometimes incredibly scattered. I have many obligations and sometimes I am just swamped for days at a time. I also have weird little quirks (IE scheduling things to death, mopping several times a week, watching Gilmore Girls) that are just the magic of me :P Love me, all of me, or leave. I am through changing myself and tweaking my personality for others.
-Needs to be interested in the future. I don't want someone who is just living in the now.


What would you like to have? (Things that would make your life together easier, but could be worked around. What percentage of these must be met?)
-I'd like a guy who is independently wealthy... lol :P ok seriously...
-It would be awesome if he was interested enough to want to jump in and help me with the girls. Didn't mind running them to gymnastics and basketball practices.
-I'd like a guy who enjoys reading (as opposed to... oh, I don't know, video games!). Who would read the same book I was reading and would share the books he liked with me.
-A guy who supported my writing.
-Someone who genuinely liked my friends and liked spending time with them and me.
-Someone who isn't jealous. I know that this is hard and that most people are not trusting by nature which is why this is under 'like to have'. I won't have some crazy nut ball following me to the grocery store but I can understand some minor jealousy. However, none at all would be AWESOME!
-It would be nice if he didn't just have to tolerate my 'quirks', but rather liked them.
-It would be even nicer if he could cook as I don't much like cooking.
-Oh yeah, good looking would be nice. Wouldn't hurt if he looked like... Matthew McConaughey :)
-Some one who cleans up after themselves and helps out with other things around the house because they want to.
-Someone who understands 'alone time'.
-Someone taller than me, by 5 inches.
-Compatible sexuality.

What things would you totally rule out?
-We can start this list with drug problems. Of any kind. I will not under any circumstances be in a relationship with any one with drug problems.
-Followed VERY quickly by alcohol problems... We can rule out any type of substance abuse.
-We can also rule out physical abusiveness.
-He can not lay a hand on my kids. Spanking of any kind is a deal breaker.
-Emotionally unstable is a deal breaker.
-Having 'I still need my mommy' syndrome is also a deal breaker. Aren't willing to learn how to do your own laundry? Aren't willing to clean up after yourself? -BUZZER-
-Can't want me to have more kids.
-Can't be close-minded. I don't need some sexist pig either for that matter. I am not your 'housewife'.

How's that for now? This list of course can and will change :P
~Kate

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At 3:13 AM, Eek said…
First time I dropped by your blog (I saw the link from Games are for Children), and up pops this?!? :-) T'was quite fun to read, and increase hope for finding somebody someday. Apart from looking like Matthew McConaughey, being independently wealthy, and the uncheckable points, it read like a checklist of me. Alas, there are other dealbreakers. For one, I do not want to be involved with raising kids in the US, as I believe it is a lousy culture for kids. Anyway; I just wanted to show you that we do exist, so just keep looking :-)

Thanks for stopping in and saying hello :) I stopped in on your blog as well and it is an interesting read. I hope to see you back Eek :) ~Kate